The irrepressible Dorothy Parker once quipped that no matter how long she lived, there were two things she knew would always confuse her: the theory of zippers and the exact function of Bernard Baruch. So far as I know, Mrs. Parker (1893-1967), the world-class punster who wrote the screenplay for the original "A Star Is Born," willed her estate to Dr. Martin Luther King and her ashes to Lillian Hellman, never did figure out how zippers worked. No matter; even without grasping the theory behind them, they nonetheless still worked every time she gave one a tug. And the fact that the diminutive "mouth-that-roared" never could plumb Baruch's precise function within political society, meant that she was in some pretty good company. From an early 21st century point of view, Bernard Baruch's "exact function" still remains a mystery.
If Baruch (1870-1965) were alive today, the financial mastermind would likely be as confused as Dorothy Parker -- but not about zippers. No, his bafflement would deal with the average American's maddening propensity for supporting people and political policies that go against their own self interest. The one thing Baruch would no doubt conclude, was that whoever was responsible for this nonsensical trend was a diabolical genius.
It is a fact: In the year 2000, voters in McPherson County, Nebraska [America's poorest county] cast 80% of their votes for George W. Bush. Never mind that candidate Bush never offered a coherent strategy or program for helping the chronically impoverished, under-fed and under-educated denizens of McPherson. They voted for him in overwhelming numbers despite his running on a platform that called for tax-cuts for the wealthy, budget cuts for education, and a general scaling-back of what has come to be known as the "social safety-net."
It is a fact: the incredible success enjoyed by the National Republican Party is due in large measure to their wooing of, catering to and scaring the daylights out of, the hoi polloi -- little people whom they have trained to vote like corporate sachems.
It is a fact: in election after election, the National Republican Party has given social, cultural and religious issues a seat in the front row. In essence, they have become "the party of God." Nonetheless, even with a born-again Republican in the White House, a Republican House and Senate and a vast amen-corner in the national media, abortion is still legal, there is no constitutional amendment specifically permitting prayer in the public schools, and gay people have not been banished to Tristan de Cuna.
A thoughtful person might opine that the Republicans are a party of cynics -- pols who trot out a host of value-laden cultural issues during campaigns, and then, once the election is over, put these same value-laden cultural issues back on the shelf for another two or four years. And just what do the people who truly believe that abortion is murder, or that stem-cell research is immoral, or that most of the difficulties we encounter in modern society are the fault of pointy-headed, latte-slurping, Volvo-driving permissive liberal urban nabobs -- what do they get in return for their votes? Why tort reform, drastic changes in federal bankruptcy laws, massive tax-cuts for the wealthy and a frontal assault on almost every New Deal/Great Society program on the books.
It's just plain criminal -- and confusing as hell. Seems to me that heretofore, the G.O.P was the party of balanced budgets, fiscal responsibility and a touch of what used to call noblesse oblige. Seems to me that the old Republican Party used to rail at the Democrats for being economic wastrels -- for drowning America in a sea of red ink. Oh how times have changed!
For those interested in just how the Republicans were able to convince a wide segment of the lower middle class to vote like financial magnates, I highly recommend Thomas Franks' marvelous book What's the Matter With Kansas: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America (2004, Henry Holt & Company). I also heartily recommend Rick Perlstein's Before the Storm: Barry Goldwater and the Unmaking of the American Consensus (2002, Hill & Wang). Armed with these two books, readers of this Blog will have a better understanding of just how conservatism swept across America like some 19th-century burnt-over district. And if, as they say, knowledge is power, perhaps, we will stand a better chance of creating and delivering a message in 2006 and 2008 that can resonate with the people who, by all rights, should be our natural constituency.
So tell me, how do zippers work?
nice, cozy place you got here :)..
Posted by: guile | June 07, 2005 at 10:39 PM