Ninety-nine years ago this month a young sports writer named Franklin P. Adams published an eight-line poem in the New York Evening Mail whose refrain is still recognizable even if its author and content are not:
These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon* bubble
Making a Giant hit into a double -
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
(* A long medieval banner or flag.)
"Tinker to Evers to Chance" is of course just one of many trios that fall trippingly off the tongue. Consider too:
- Wynken, Blynken & Nod.
- Shadrach, Mesach & Abednego.
- Crosby, Stills & Nash.
- Harvard, Princeton & Yale.
With all the above trios, there is an obvious linkage:
- "Tinker, Evers & Chance" were three infielders with the Chicago Cubs.
- "Shadrach, Mesach & Abednego" were three who survived the fiery furnace.
- "Wynken, Blynken & Nod" were three fishermen sailing and fishing in the stars.
- "Crosby, Still & Nash" are three superb rock musicians.
- "Harvard, Princeton & Yale" are America's three oldest Ivy League colleges.
There are now a couple of new trios to add to the litany:
- Gingrich, Vitter & Craig
- Ensign, Sanford & Palin
For those who have been out of town, the first trio is made up of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, current Louisiana Senator David Vitter, and former Idaho Senator Larry Craig. The second triad consists of current Nevada Senator John Ensign, current South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and the "As of today and supposed to become former" Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
As with the above referenced trios, "Gingrich, Vitter & Craig" and "Ensign, Sanford & Palin" also possess obvious linkage. To wit:
- Both trios are made up of self righteously confidant conservative politicians whose public posture turned out to be dangerously divergent from their private practice.
- In both cases (with the possible exception of former Senator Craig) the trios are made up of individuals who had until recently been referenced as potential 2012 Republican presidential contenders. Today, they are in that collective category called "Rotza ruck!"
In the main, conservative commentators, faced with the necessity having to write or say something -- anything -- about the moral/ethical lapses of a Gingrich, Vitter, Craig, Ensign or Sanford or the sheer 1984-ish absurdity of a Sarah Palin [Orwell: "War is Peace." Palin: "Resignation is advancement."] have, without batting an eyelash proclaimed, "Well, the liberals are far, far worse!" Within the past few weeks, they have seen most of their presidential hopes go up in smoke or, in the case of Governor Palin, simply bite the dust:
Instead of announcing that Sarah Palin is resigning her office in midterm, Fox Noise ran a crawler proclaiming, "Palin will not seek a second term." Rather than attempt to decipher or explain what she said at her press conference or in her interview with Andrea Mitchell, most conservative commentators have gone on the offensive -- attacking "lefties" for making Palin's life so impossible that resignation became a necessity. One commentator, Milwaukee's Mark Belling went so far as to blame Palin's downfall on . . . are you ready for this? . . . the SDS! No really! While filling in for Limbaugh this past Tuesday, Belling ranted on and on about how those who ". . .admire and support Castro; Che Gueverra, whose t-shirts they still wear; Daniel Ortega in Nicaragua; Robert Mugabe in Africa -- African self determination; Idi Amin in Africa; Ho Chi Minh; Mao -- remember how they were running around in the '60s with the Little Red Book?" Egad! These are the folks who forced Pain to resign? When Nevada Senator John Ensign announces that his parents have given his ex-mistress and her husband nearly $100,000 based on "humanitarian concern for two friends," the conservative press applauds their generosity. There is nary a peep about the fact that Ensign, a prominent member of the Christian men's organization "Promise Keepers," has publicly admitted that he has had a long-term relationship with another man's wife. [It should be noted that one of "Promise Keepers" core beliefs is, "A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer and obedience to God's word in the power of the Holy Spirit."]
That when Governor Mark Sanford publicly admits that he lied to his wife, his cabinet and the people of South Carolina, and disappeared for five days so that he could travel to Buenos Aires and have a rendezvous with his Argentine "soul mate," all Rush Limbaugh can say is, "I guess we have learned something. Republicans like sex too," and then lament that Sanford "could have been another Kennedy . . . without the Mafia connections." So far as El Rushbo was concerned, if anyone were to be surprised by what Sanford was admitting to, it was likely the fault of the Democrats. "How's that?" you ask. Well, try and follow Limbaugh's logic: "Up until now (whether or not "Republicans like sex"] has been debatable. Republicans are these church going, moralistic no-fun-in-life kind of people according to the libs. Mark Sanford developed . . . an email frienship, started innocently, the girl from Ipanema. He went down to Argentina to see the girl from Ipanema." (sic -- emphasis added].
[If I weren't concerned about being labeled a "G.D.G.E." -- a 'G.D. Geographic Elitist,' I would hasten to inform Rush that Ipanema is in Brazil and that Brazil is definitely not in Argentina. But I am concerned, so won't mention it.]
With the recent demise of such front-line players as Ensign, Sanford & Palin -- and understanding that Gingrich, Vitter and Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal bit the dust quite a while ago -- who's left on the GOP bench? Mike Huckabee? Mitt Romney? Michael Steele? How about a tickwt of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter?
When will the conservative entertainers ever figure out that just because we Americans are for the most part a good understanding and forgiving folk does not mean that we are all fools. There is a big difference between being a truly repentant sinner -- otherwise known as a human being -- and a hypocritical blowhard. A vast majority of Americans understand that difference. Too bad so few of them are on radio or television.
Who will be the next one to bite the dust?
©2009 Kurt F. Stone


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Posted by: Liathitouff | January 30, 2011 at 02:49 AM
Hersh: I had honestly thought about using them but ultimately didn't . . . after all they are both lahnsleite and mispucha . . .
Posted by: KFS to Hersh | July 11, 2009 at 09:50 PM
Another trio that might be more appropriate for Sanford, Ensign and Palin would be Curly, Larry and Moe.
Posted by: Hersh | July 11, 2009 at 09:49 PM
she's hysterical, but possibly she's going to study her way to the presidency ...learning the difference between white house law and the legislature.
maybe she'll learn to say nuclear while she's watching Russia for her neighborhood fun.
Posted by: Sheila | July 11, 2009 at 12:00 PM
The hypocracy of the whole crowd is amazing! That they're able to do it with a straight face is disgusting. What's worse though, are their admirers.
Posted by: S.M. | July 11, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Perhaps it is my "wish" and "not a fact" that "A vast majority Americans understand the difference." Hey, I'm a rabbi; that sort of optimism comes with the rabbinic art-form.
I disagree that "many, many votted for Palin in the last election." While I'm sure quite a few did, my gut tells me that far more either:
A) Voting for John McCain, or
B) Voting against Barack Obama.
"There is no real evidence that this system we call capitalist democracy works?" Oh come now; we just celebrated our 233rd anniversary as a country . . . many of those years spent as a capitalist, republican form of government. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, our periods of glee and periods of greed. But the fact that we are still here, still learning and growing, still changing and relishing the challenge of it all, proves to me that while not perfect, it does work better than just about anything else. And my detractors thought I was some kind a Marxist!
Posted by: KFS to Warren Weinstein | July 10, 2009 at 09:50 PM
I do not believe that, "A vast majority of Americans understand the difference". Where did you get that statistic? That's your wish. Not a fact.
Many, many voted for Palin in the last election. There is no real evidence that this system, that we call capitalist democracy, works.
One of the problems is that no one (as far as I know) has ever defined what the goal of this county is and what "works" means. We have a constitution, court cases and a load of passed legislation. That is America.
Posted by: Warren Weinstein | July 10, 2009 at 09:32 PM